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Nadhani mamangu alipatwa na uoga mkubwa na uchungu wa ndani kwa ndani kwa kuwa haikuwa mara ya kwanza kupata mtoto mwenye maradhi kama hayo aliwahi kupata mtoto wa kiume aliyeitwa Adamu mwenye maradhi kama yangu lakini baada ya miaka kadhaa baadae kabla ya kuzaliwa mimi alifariki dunia, hivyo kwa hakika kila nilipoumwa mama yangu alipata uoga sana akijua atanipoteza muda wowote na saa yeyote, na kwa kuwa tangu nilipogundulika na ugonjwa nilikuwa ni mtu wa kukimbizwa hospitali kila mara baada ya hali yangu kuwa mbaya hasa usiku wa manane hivyo kwa kipindi hicho majirani wengi walikuwa wakishirikiana na mama kila alipohitaji msaada usiku wa manane na hata leo nikikutana nao huwa hawaamini kuwa ni mimi na swali la kwanza huwa we ndo Khadija? Aisee kweli Mungu mkubwa, ndo umekua hivyo, vipi siku hizi huumwiumwi? Msalimie sana mama, na wengine hujikuta tu wakinisimulia wewe mtoto ulikuwa unamsumbua mamako sana kila mara ilitulazimu kukimbiza hospitali usiku wa manane kweli mungu mkubwa na mengine mengi.

Kwa hakika sikuwahi kuiona hofu machoni mwa mamangu alikuwa ni mwanamke jasiri mno labda kwasababu hakutaka kunitia woga hadi siku moja nilipoumwa kwa mfululizo hivyo tukaongozana kwenda hospitali baada ya kupata nafuu hapo ndipo nilipoona kiasi cha khofu alichonacho na hapo ndipo nilipogundua kuwa nilikuwa na kaka aliyekuwa na sickle cell na alifariki kwa ugonjwa huo baada ya kumsikia akiongea na daktari “doctor please help me, I lost a baby boy before” daktari akamjibu “usijali mama nitakusaidia kadri ya uwezo wangu”

Aidha, baadhi ya watu walikuwa wakinitamkia wazi mbele ya macho yangu we unaumwa sickle cell? Hufikishi miaka 20 lazima utakufa au ukipona basi wakati ukijifungua lazima ufe, hawakujali kuwa wakati huo nilikuwa bado mdogo sana ambaye kwa akili ya kawaida nilihitaji maneno ya kunipa moyo zaidi kuliko maneno ya kunivunja moyo na makali kama hayo kwa mtoto kama mimi ambaye kwa wakati huo nilikuwa na miaka si zaidi ya 9.


I think my mother had a fear and great pain inside because it was not the first time to gave birth to a sickler baby, she had a sickler boy whose name was Adamu but after some years later he passed away before I was born, therefore every time when I got sick my mother was fearing that she would loose me any minute, and because since I was diagnosed with the disease, they had to rush me to the hospital evry now and then because of the crisis especially at night. Thanks to the neighbours who was helping my mother at those night everytime she needed help and even today when I bump to them they don’t belive that it’s the same khadija, they would ask “are you khadija? You have grown up thanks god, don’t you get sick anymore nowdays? Many regards to your mother” other will found themselves telling me stories that I was very stubborn getting sick most of the time and they had to rush me to the hospital.

Verily, I have never seen the fear in my mother’s eyes, she wa a strong woman may be because she didn’t want to worry me until 1 day when we went to the hospital after getting sick often that was the day I saw how much my mother was worrying and that’s when I realize that I had a brother who died with sickle cell after overheard her talking to a doctor “doctor plz help me, I lost a baby boy before” and the doctor replied “don’t worry mother I will help you as much as I can”

Also, some people were talking openly to me, are you suffering from sickle cell? You will not reach 20 years old you will die o if you will survive then you will die when giving birth, they didn’t care that at that time I was too young to hear those words, I needed comforting words instead of those words I was below 9 years old only.


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