TUENDELEE...

Ikabaki tu kusubiri uchaguzi wa shule utangazwe na kama nilivyodhamiria nilichaguliwa kujiunga na kidato cha tano katika shule ya sekondari Morogoro maarufu kama Moro sec mjini Morogoro. Kwangu binafsi nilifurahi kwa kuwa nilikuwa nimetimiza lengo langu lakini kwa wazazi wangu ilikuwa ni wasiwasi tele na mama alijaribu kunishawishi ili nikubali kufanya mpango wa kuhama shule lakini alikumbana na maswali ambayo hata yeye yalimfanya afikiri mara mbili na kwa shingo upande alikubaliana na maamuzi yangu nilimuuliza “Mama leo mko hai sawa, lakini kumbuka sisi ni wanadamu kuna leo na kesho, itakuaje mtakapofunga macho? Nitaishi na nani? Itanibidi nijifunze kuishi mwenyewe.”


So I stayed at home while waiting for the school selection to be announced and as I intended I was selected to join form 5 at morogoro secondary school well known as Moro sec. at morogoro region. I was more than happy because I fullfiled my goal but to my parents side it was fear and mom tried to convice me so that I can accept to shift to other day school but she met with questions that made her think twice and she accepted my decisions without full consent, I asked her “mom today you are alive, but remember we are human beings no one knows tomorrow, what will happen if you pass away? Who will I live with? I have to learn to live by my own and to take care of myself.”

CONTINUES...

Na baada ya kuwekwa mapumziko na kupatiwa matibabu na vipimo ambapo niligundulika kuwa na wadudu 6 wa malaria pia sikuwa na maji ya kutosha mwilini. Madakatari walimshauri mama anipeleke nyumbani kutokana na ukweli kuwa hali yangu haikuwa vyema kuendelea kukaa pale ningeweza kuzoa maradhi mengine. Kwa kweli nilikuwa nikipenda zaidi kuwa mtu wa kawaida na kwa kuwa niliujua ukweli kuwa naumwa nilijitahidi kujiepusha na makosa ya hapa na pale shuleni ili niepukane na adhabu na nashukuru Mungu kwa namna moja ama nyingine nilifanikiwa.

Namshukuru Mungu nilifanikiwa kumaliza kwa amani hadi kidato cha nne na matokeo yalipotoka yalikuwa mazuri na hivyo nilijiandaa kwa hatua nyingine as they always say “one step at a time” lakini katika hatua hii akili yangu ilikuwa na mpango mwengine kabisa ambao hata wazazi wangu hawakuwa wakifahamu nilikuwa nimedhamiria kubadili mazingira kabisa kwa kutaka kusoma boarding mkoa mwengine na hata katika uchaguzi wa shule nilioufanya sikuchagua hata shule moja ya jijini Dar es salaam, nilichokuwa nakiwaza na kujiuliza ni kuwa “Nitakaa na wazazi hadi lini kwanini nisijaribu uzoefu mwengine wa maisha ya peke yangu, maisha mbali na wazazi haya ni maisha kuna leo na kesho sitokaa na wazazi siku zote naweza kuolewa siku moja na ukiacha kuolewa itakuaje kama kesho wakifumba macho nitakua mgeni wa nani? Nani atakubali kuishi na mimi katika hali hii? Inanilazimu kufanya hivi, ni lazima nijifunze kujihudumia mwenyewe mtiririko wa mawazo uliendelea kupita kichwani mwangu”


And after getting there I was admitted for a short time then after some test and drip, whereby it was discovered that I had 6 viruses of malaria and my body lacked water. Doctors’ advice my mom to take me home because according to my condition it wasn’t proper to continue staying there I could get others diseases. Honestly I really liked being a normal person and because I knew the truth that I was sick I tried my best avoiding mistakes at school in order to avoid punishment and I thank God that in one way or another I managed to do so.

Thank god I succeed to complete my O level studies without problems and the results came out good so I prepared myself to move into another step as they always say “one step at a time” but ib this step my mind was having totally another plan that even my parents didn’t knew about, I intended to change the environment by wanting to study boarding school in another region and even in the selection of schools I didn’t chose even one school in Dar es salaam, what I was asking myself and thinking is “until when will I live with my parents, why dnt I try another experience of living alone, life away from my parents, this is life you never know about tomorrow I might get married one day or they may die one day I wont be with them always. So what if they die one day? Who will accept to live with me in this condition? I must do this; I must learn how to take care of myself, that the way I was thinking in my mind”

CONTINUES

siku hiyo nilitoka nyumbani nikiwa sijisikii vizuri na mama akanambia nisiende shule kama najisikia vibaya lakini sikusikia nikang'ang'ania kwenda. nimefika shule vizuri tukanywa chai vizuri, ukafika wakati wa kufanya usafi hapo ndipo nilipoanza kutapika, nikaamua kurejea nyumbani nikisindikizwa na rafiki yangu lakini sikufanikiwa hata kufika getini niliishiwa nguvu na nikawa naona giza kisha nikapoteza fahamu the next thing nilishtuka niko mapumziko katika dispensary ya shule na classmates zangu wamenizunguka wakinipa pole. Wakati huo mama alikuwa njiani akielekea ofisini alipopigiwa simu alishuka haraka sana na kuchukua taxi kuja shule huku macho yamemjaa machozi akijua sasa ananipoteza, nilikimbizwa muhimbili kwa kuwa ndo ilikuwa hospitali ya karibu.............



That day i left home but i was not feeling well n mom told me to rest and not to go to school if i wwasnt feeling well but i dnt listen and i was so stubborn so i went. i reached home safely and drink tea, and i was the time to do cleanness thats when i started vomiting, and so i decided to go back home accompanied by my friend but i ddnt even reach the get i felt weak and couldnt see anymore then i fainted and the next thing that i noticed was i was in a school dispensary surrounded by my classmates who were feeling sorry. By that time my mother was on her way to office then she received a call and as soon as she did she dropped off the bus and grab a cab and rush to school , her eyes were filled with tears when she gets there knowing that she lost me for good. after she arrived i was rushed to muhimbili hospital because it was the nearest hospital..........

KILICHOTOKEA KWA OFISI YA HEADMISTRESS

INAENDELEA…..
Jawabu nililojibiwa kwa kweli sitokaa nisahahu “we si unaunwa? Kwanini usisome masomo ya kawaida, sayansi huwezi kemikali zitakuathiri “niliganda kwanza moyoni nikajiuliza ‘who are you to tell me what I can do n what I cannot do? Jambo ambalo pia nalichukia kuambiwa kuwa wewe huwezi kufanya kitu hiki kwasababu unaumwa, na kwa kweli nilijiuliza sana kwasababu nimeshawahi kutibiwa na daktari ambaye ana sickle cell je Yule alisomaje?
Niliumia sana sana kupita sana nikafikia hadi uamuzi wa kuhama shule lakini baadae nikasema hii ndo njia ambayo Mungu amaenichagulia siwezi jua kwanini nimepelekwa huku Mungu ana makusudi na mimi wacha nisome. Nikaendelea na masomo yangu lakini pia nilikuwa na tabia ya ubishi kwani hata nilipokuwa naumwa bado nililazimisha kwenda shule nakumbuka siku moja hadi nilipoteza fahamu shuleni…
ILIKUAJE HADI NIKAPOTEZA FAHAMU? KWANINI NILIPOTEZA FAHAMU NA NINI KILITOKEA BAADA YA KUPOTEZA FAHAMU? UNGANA NAMI KESHO UPATE MAJIBU YA MASWALI YAKO…….


CONTINUES………..
The reply I got to be frank I will never forget it “you are sick? Why don’t you take other subjects, you can’t handle science subjects, chemicals in the laboratory will affect you” honestly I was surprised and then I asked myself “who is she to tell me what I can do and what I cant do? I actually hate this someone to tell me I can’t do something because iam sick, and infact I asked myself lots of questions because I was once treated with a doctor eho is sickler, so did manage to study ddnt the chemicals affect him?
I was really hurt and I decided to migrate to another school but later I said to myself this is the way that god chose for me, I don’t know why did god chose me to go this way. God has plans for me let me study this. I continued with my studies, but I had a bad behavior of content because even when I was sick I forced to go school I remember one day I fainted when I was at school…
DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW DID IT HAPPEN? WHY DID I FAINT AND WHAT HAPPENED? JOIN ME TOMMORROW………

THE STORY CONTINUES
Baada ya kuwa na ufahamu kuhusiana na hali yangu niliamua kuwa nataka nisome ili nije kuwa daktari ama nijitibu mwenyewe au nisaidie wenye matatizo kama yangu, na kama wengi wetu tujuavyo masomo ya sayansi huwa yanahitaji umakini mkubwa lakini kwa kuwa nilikuwa nikiumwa mara kwa mara na kulazwa mara nyingi nilijikuta nikiachwa nyuma kimasomo lakini kilichokuwa kikinisaidia ni kwa kuwa mungu alinipa akili za kuzaliwa zilizokuwa zikinisaidia katika masomo yangu na kunifanya nifanye vizuri mara kwa mara lakini hali ilibadilika nilipomaliza kidato cha pili na kusubiri matokeo, matokeo yalitoka na kwa bahati mbaya sikuwa nimefanya vizuri sana kwenye masomo ya sayansi hali iliyosababisha kuyeyusha ndoto zangu za kuwa daktari kwa maana ndo nilipeana mkono wa kwaheri na masomo ya sayansi, siku ile nililia sana kuona ndoto zangu zikiyeyuka mbele ya macho yangu pasi na kuwa na uwezo wa kufanya chochote ili kuzinusuru nililia hadi nafika nyumbani na nilipofika tu nyumbani nilianza kuumwa, nilikata mwezi mzima nikiwa kitandani hali ilikuwa mbaya sana maumivu yalikuwa makali sana, lakini nilipopata tu nafuu kitu cha kwanza ilikuwa ni kukimbilia ofisini kwa mwalimu mkuu kuomba huku nikilia wanifikirie mara mbili kwani sikuwa tayari kuona ndoto zangu zikiyeyuka……………….

JE, UNATAKA KUJUA KILICHOTOKEA NDANI YA OFISI YA MWALIMU MKUU?
UNATAKA KUJUA JIBU ALILONIPA? BASI TAFADHALI UNGANA NAMI SEHEMU IJAYO




After being aware about my health I decided that I want to study hard so I can be a doctor either to cure myself or atleast to help people with sickle cell like me, and as we all know science subjects are hard and they need a lot of concentration but because I was falling sick every now and then and being hospitalized many times I found myself behind my classmates in studies, what have been helping me is the nature of brain I had (common sense), god gave me common sense which helped me in my studies and made me do well most of the time but things got complicated when I finished form two and waits for results, when the results where out i realized that I didn’t do well in science subjects therefore my dreams went in vain because I had to say goodbye to science subject and enter in arts class for form 3 and 4. I cried a lot that day to see my dreams melted just like an ice infront of my eyes and couldn’t nothing to prevent that, I cried all my way going home and too bad when I reached home I got sick, a month passed by while I was still sick in bed my condition was really bad and the pain was unbearable. But when I got well the first thing to do was running straight to headmistress office crying to request them think about my situation twice because I wasn’t ready to see my dreams disappearing like that……..
DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN HEADMISTRESS OFFICE?
WHAT WAS HER REPLY? THEN JOIN ME IN THE NEXT EPISODE………..

DNT MISS PART 4 OF MY STORY

PART 4

Lakini yote tisa kumi nilipoingia sekondari ambapo kwa uwezo wa mungu nilifaulu vizuri masomo yangu na kuchaguliwa kujiunga na shule ya sekondari ya wasichana jangwani mambo ndo yalipozidi kuwa magumu, mzunguko wa kuumwa uliongezeka zaidi na yote kwa yote nilikutana na mambo mapya, mazingira mapya na watu wapya ambao kwa namna moja ama nyingine ilikuwa lazima watambue hali yangu ili wajue jinsi ya kuishi na mimi, suala ambalo kwa kweli nilikuwa nikipata ugumu sana kuwaelezea watu na ni kitu ambacho huwa nakichukia hadi leo kwa kuwa hunikumbusha machungu mengi sana, nilipoanza fomu 1 siku moja mwalimu wa darasa aliingia kujitambulisha darasani akawa anapitia fomu ya kila mwanafunzi na ndo hapo alipopitia fomu yenye jina langu ambapo ilikuwa ni lazima uandike kama una maradhi yeyote nakumbuka alichosema Yule mwalimu ambacho kilinitoa machozi mbele ya darasa zima “khadija unaumwa sickle cell? Pole sana mwanangu mungu atakusaidia” nilijikuta tu nikilia kwani nilikumbuka jinsi ambavyo huwa naumwa na hapo darasa zima lilijua kuwa khadija anaumwa, kitu ambacho pia huwa nakichukia katika maisha yangu, mpaka leo hii namkumbuka sana mwalimu Yule kwa kuwa baadae alikuja kuwa rafiki wa mama yangu baada ya siku moja kunipiga na kuumwa ilimbidi mama amfuate hadi shuleni lakini baadae walikuwa marafiki wakubwa baada ya kujikuta wakifanya kazi kwenye ofisi moja na hadi sasa huwa anakuja nyumbani.



But all in all thing got uglier when I entered secondary school where by by god’s grace I passed and therefore I was selected to join jangwani girls secondary school, the drises I got increased and also I met new things, new environment and new people who in one way or another they had to know my condition so that they can know how to live with me, that was the thing that I always face some hardship explaining to people and it was the thing I hated most in my life until today, explaining to people that Iam sick that I have sickle cell because it reminds me of so much pain I went through, when I started form 1 one day class teacher entered the classroom inorder to introduce herself and she was going through our forms and she came across my form whereby it was compulsory to write in a form if you have any health problem, and I still remember clearly what she said, words tha made me to drop tears infront of the whole classroom “Khadija, u have sickle cell? Iam very sorry my child god will help you.” I actually found myself crying because I remembered the way I get when I fall sick and from then the whole class who were present that day knew that Khadija was suffering from sickle cell disease, the thing that I also hated the most those days, until today I still remember that teacher because later she became my mother’s fiend after I got sick because she bit me and unfortunately I fall sick so my mom had to come to school to talk to her but later thet become good friend’s after finding themselves working in one office and she comes home until today.

INAENDELEA........

MAISHA YA SHULE NA MTAANI KWA JUMLA
Basi tangu hapo maisha yamekuwa magumu sana kwa upande wangu hasa baada ya kuanza shule na kutakiwa kujitegemea katika baadhi ya mambo yangu, maisha yangu karibu yote hasa wakati wa utoto nimeishi hospitali, kiukweli nimeishi maisha magumu sana sikuwa kama watoto wengine wa kawaida nilipenda iwe hivyo lakini kutokana na kuumwa mara kwa mara nilikosa haki zangu za msingi hasa kucheza na watoto wezangu kwanza binafsi niliathirika kisaikolojia kiasi cha kujiona kuwa mimi ni tofauti na wengine nikawa muda mwengine najitenga hasa nilipoanza maisha ya shule hususan shule ya msingi nilisoma shule ambayo tulikuwa tukichapwa sana lakini kulikuwa na sheria kuwa wagonjwa hawachapwi lakini unakuta mwalimu mwengine hajui hivyo ilinilazimu kuvaa alama nyekundu begani kiukweli hali ile ‘it was killing me’ huwezi amini lakini hadi mstarini wagonjwa tulikuwa tukikaa kwenye mistari yetu wenyewe hatukutakiwa kujichanganya na wenzetu ile haikuwa nzuri na kama inaendelea nawashauri waache…


STREET AND SCHOOL LIFE IN GENERAL
Since then my life has been very difficult on my side especially after starting going to school and start doing some things independently, all my life especially when I was akid I spent it in the hospital, honestly I have lived hard life I wasn’t like other normal children, I wanted it to be that way but because of falling sick every now and then I lost my right to play with my fellow children, because I was psychologically affected to the extent of seeing myself different from others so I used to isolate myself especially when I started studying primary education, I studied in a school where sticks were common but there was a law that those who are sick were not allowed to be bitten but sometimes you may find other teach may not be aware of your sickness therefore we had to wore red dots on our shits like a symbol that iam sick, to be that honest I hated that situation and I was killing me inside, u cant believe but even in parade the sufferers were not allowed to stand in a line with others we were lining our own line, if this system still exist in schools I would like to advice them to stop it because they might not know but its kind of discrimination to the students who aren’t healthy…

itaendelea baadaye....